Potato Chips and Pixie Sticks
by Steel Heart
Summary: Leon works too much, Sora loves chocolate, Cloud's on drugs, Reno's an alcoholic, Roxas is over protective, Axel's a stalker, Riku's an idol, and Cid's going to die soon from lung cancer, because of all that excessive smoke he's inhaling? Wonderful. LxS H
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **If I owned it, do you really think I'd be writing Kingdom Hearts **fan**fiction? HUH?! Hmph, that's what I thought.

**Warning**: This story contains shounen-ai/yaoi, drug addicts, alcoholics, stalkers and a bunch of other stuff… yeah…

**A/N: **So… I wasn't quite thinking when I wrote this... ok, so I wasn't really thinking at all. This is really just a random 10 minute spew I did to take a break from lit analysis paper. It didn't really strike me as interesting, but if you want me to continue, leave some feedback, otherwise I'll be dropping this story.

Oh and the title and chapter titles have absolutely no relevance to the story...yup.

**Potato Chips and Pixie Sticks**

**Chapter 1: Onions & Strawberries Just Don't Go Together**

A beautiful brunette stood from the top of the circle of chairs and brightly announced, "Okay, since we'll all be cruising with each other for the next month, shall we start with introductions? We'll go counter clockwise, I'll start! I'm Aerith and I'm the head counselor for this trip. It's nice to meet you all and I'm sure you'll all get over whatever difficulties you're facing!" She asked a rough looking, blond man wearing goggles to go next.

"Cid's the name. And I don't fucking know why am here, cause unlike yer damn freaks, I ain't got no fucking addiction." Immediately after finishing his statement he grabbed three cigarettes out of his pockets and started puffing them all at once. Everyone could tell why he was here.

For a few moments all was quiet, until a red head finally realized it was his turn. "Oh! Names Wakka ya? Ma friends say I'm obsessed with blitzball and forced me to come on this cruise to get some time off. But I don't understand how anybody could ever get enough of blitz, yah?"

A silver haired boy put his headphones away and began his introduction," I doubt I really need to introduce myself, but what's the harm. I'm Riku," he looked around the room and flashes a smile, all the girls swooned, "My manager apparently thinks I go clubbing too much and thinks I need another means of stress relief..." He blew them a kiss. The girls fainted.

A green eyed, spiky redhead stood up and glanced over everyone, "The names Axel got it memorized?" When no one made a move to answer he narrowed his eyes and stared at them maliciously until they nodded, "Good. I'm here 'cause I'm stalking Roxas and I'm a pyro. But mostly 'cause I'm stalking Roxas." He pointed to the blond next to him... who was twitching?

"Uh...hey...," grumbled the said twitching blond boy, "they," bitterness was evident in his voice, "sent me here 'cause they said I have a problem with possessiveness and over protectiveness, which I think is a load of bull... LEONHART GET YOUR FUCKING HANDS OFF **MY** BROTHER!" Leon immediately withdrew his hand from Sora, who was now letting out a whimper, disappointed from the loss of contact.

Another redhead, stared blankly at everyone, then he grinned, "Hey yo! Name's Reno and I fucking worship beer!" He passed out.

The other blond sitting next to Reno gleamed and with a cheerily said "Hey, my names Demyx and I love music!" Aerith smiled, "that's wonderful."

A boy sitting to Demyx's right commented "and he's a diaster with anything related. He's tone deaf, can't sing, his songs suck, and he can't play instruments, but does that stop him from setting up a microphone on the streets at 2AM and screeching his lungs out? Causing me to lose the few precious hours of sleep time me and everyone else on the street have? No."

Demyx pouted and rose an accusing finger to the bluish silver haired boy "you just can't recognize true talent Zexy!"

The boy sneered, "Don't call me that." Demyx stuck out his tongue at him, "That's Zexy-"

"Zexion," the other boy cut in. Demyx rolled his eyes, "fine! Zexxxiioonnn," he purposely stretched out, "and he's here because he's emo!"

"I'm not emo!"

"Sure you are! You've got the emo haircut and everything!"

"Why you-"

"Now, now, boys, calm down, this isn't a place for fighting, it's a place for relaxation and rehabilitation" Aerith hastily attempted to play the part of peacemaker.

Zexion glared at Demyx and the boy hummed... was that supposed to be 'I'm a little teapot?' Oh god. He WAS tone-deaf.

A girl with short black hair giggled, "I'm the Great Ninja Yuffie! And I love anything and everything sweet!"

The girl next to her, a brunette with curled locks nearly screamed out while jumping up and down, "Me too! Me too! I'm Selphie and I looooovvvvvvve sugar!!!"

"Leon." Sora nudged Leon in the side, he added, "I work," he nudged him again, this time harshly, so he continued "a lot." Sora huffed, "he's a workaholic, so I decided he needed a vacation!"

Sora stood up, saluted everyone and gave them a cheeky grin, "I'm Sora and I'm addicted to chocolate!" Yuffie and Selphie squealed, "WEEE! We can all be sugar buddies!"

Riku called out from the other side of the room, "hey sweet cheeks! Wanna tango?" Leon growled and was about to say something, but Roxas beat him to it, "DON'T YOU DARE HIT ON MY BROTHER!"

Riku smirked, "oh? What are you going to do about it?"

"Everyone please…" Aerith pleaded.

Roxas bolted out of his seat, stomped over to Riku punched him in the jaw and leered, "that." Riku put felt his mouth had a bit of blood trickling down and seethed, "How dare you, a mere nobody, leave a mark on my perfect face?!" Many of the present girls were yelling at Roxas too.

Roxas scoffed, "Easily," then he flicked the girls off.

Riku stood up and before Roxas could back away he rendered Roxas unconscious with a heavy blow to the head. Sora squeaked, and rushed over to his brother, Leon on the other hand looked amused.

"YOU BASTARD, I'LL KILL YOU!" Axel roared and advanced towards Riku, who in return made a taunting gesture.

Aerith rested her forehead in the palm of her hand…the next month was going to be gigantic headache.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **If I owned it, do you really think I'd be writing Kingdom Hearts **fan**fiction? HUH?! Hmph, that's what I thought.

**Warning**: This story contains shounen-ai/yaoi, drug addicts, alcoholics, stalkers and a bunch of other stuff… yeah…

**A/N: **You guys actually liked it? XD I'm amused, therefore in this chapter you get to meet 'stoner Cloud.'

Special Thanks to **Midnight808, RaiPhoenix015, Lalala12345, & ****She.Who.Knows for** reviewing.**  
**

**She.Who.Knows**, actually, I really do, but it's fine now since I'm done with it. I swear my habitual procrastination will eventually lead to the death of me.

Once again, the title and chapter titles have absolutely nothing to do with the story.

**Potato Chips and Pixie Sticks**

**Chapter 2: You're insane, I'm insane, we might as well be insane together! And while we're at it let's have some ice-cream! WAITER!**

The morning had been very eventful; five hours ago they'd rushed Roxas to the clinic and had to sedate Axel to keep him from killing Riku. Currently, Sora was walking around the boat exploring, since Roxas (now conscious and well) was busy trying to get away from Axel (the sedative wore off) and Leon was sleeping. In a corner he saw a dark hunched over figure, mumbling to himself, shaking.

Sora gulped," um… Sir, are you ok?"

The man immediately snapped his face towards Sora and started at him with bloodshot eyes, Sora squeaked jumped back.

The man got up, and started patting nonexistent dust off his pants, he took off his black hood, to reveal spiky blond locks. Sora calmed down as he recognized him from the introduction earlier this morning… his name was…, "Cloud Strife, right?"

Cloud narrowed his eyes suspiciously at Sora, "how do you know my name?"

Sora gulped nervously, why did he seem mad? "T-the introductions."

Cloud loosened up, "oh, right, this morning." Sora cautiously nodded.

Cloud took out a needle from the pocket of his hoodie, stabbed it into his arm and starting injecting something, Sora squirmed, didn't that hurt? Noticing Sora still staring at him, he asked, "Wanna try?"

Sora shook his head furiously. If he did drugs, Roxas, not to mention Leon, would kill him. Besides he hated needles. Whenever he had to go to a clinic to get his shots, he'd try to escape, often climbing out the window. Unfortunately though, he was always caught. Damn those nurses!

The blond man shrugged," Your loss."

Knowing he had nothing else to do, he attempted to strike up conversation with the blond man, scary or not.

"Soo….Cloud….unique name…"

Cloud just stared intently at Sora and he started getting nervous. Oh crap! Was he sensitive about his name?

Then suddenly Cloud just shrugged again and Sora let out a tiny sigh of relief, "yeah, well, my parent's were high when they had me, they were high before they had me and they were high after they had me. No wonder I'm so screwed up."

He turned to leave, but then stopped for a moment and turned back to Sora, "But hey, at least it's not girly. So-ra." He then resumed walking away, chuckling.

Sora snarled, if there was one thing he drove him over the edge, it was being called girly in any way, shape, or form. Like having a feminine figure and a pretty face wasn't enough! That why his hair was spiky! It was some kind of natural defense he was born with so people could see he wasn't a girl (which most of the time failed) He didn't need somebody reminding him that his name was unisex too! So, his brain overloaded with an emotion mixture of embarrassment, hate, resentment and anger, he could only think to do one thing. Sora ran after Cloud Strife and tackled him with full force.

After a good some minutes filled with empty threats, yells, pinches and tumbling they ended up in a rather…compromising position.

To the right, someone whistled. Sora's head bolted over to see Riku, with a very mischievous looking smile on his face, "My, my, my. Please, Sweet Cheeks, if you want somebody to cheat on your boyfriend with, you should know I'm available."

Sora's face scrunched up in confusion so he looked like a chipmunk, a very cute one mind you, and Riku started laughing uncontrollably.

"What?!"

"Hahaha…it's just you, you…" quelling down his laughter, Riku straitened up and smirked, "you're a virgin aren't y-" Riku's sentence was cut short as he suffered a severe blow to the back of his head.

"WHAT THE HELL DID I TELL YOU ABOUT HITTING ON MY BROTHER?! AND YOU!" He looked Cloud twice over, "you're hot… what do you say you and me, 8'o clock at the dining hall?" Cloud in return evaluated Roxas' body and licked his lips, "why not?"

"Roxas, no! You can't!" Axel whined.

"Shut up Axel! It's none of your business!" Roxas waved Axel off, incredibly annoyed. Then he turned to Sora, "you, little brother, will get your butt back to your room! Since you obviously aren't able to take care of yourself, you'll stay there till tomorrow!"

Sora hesitated, Roxas snapped, "NOW!" Sora turn tailed and ran back in the direction of his room…'hmmm, maybe I can go visit Le-' "AND I'D BETTER NOT FIND YOU IN LEONHART'S ROOM!" Sora sighed. Just as he was about to enter his room, two arm yanked him across the hallways, down the stairs and into the café, pushing him down into a seat. His captors were none other than his new found 'sugar buddies'!

**With Roxas**

"AXEL! LET ME OUT RIGHT NOW!" Roxas was screaming at his red headed stalker, who had, indeed, locked him in the hallway closet.

"No can do Roxy, if I let you out then you'll go on a date with that blond stoner, and I can't let that happen, now can I" Axel hummed.

"YES YOU CAN! LET ME THE HELL OUT RIGHT NOW! I SWEAR I'M GOING TO CASTRATE YOU!"

A man with brown shaggy hair, who had just awoken had just been roaming the halls in search of Sora, stood witnessing this 'heartwarming event'

The ends of Leon's lips curved slightly upwards, he loved seeing Roxas in pain and unhappy, as cruel as that may sound it was only because whenever he was around Leon couldn't even as much as touch Sora, not even a quick peck on the cheeks or holding hands! And believe Leon, Roxas was ALWAYS around. Leon wasn't a mean person, a bit anti-social and intimidating maybe, but not mean. Leon and Sora had been going out for 5 years, FIVE WHOLE YEARS, and they'd yet to have a proper make out session, for God's sake!

**Back with Sora**

While Yuffie was devouring a ginormous 'Yuffie Ice-cream Sunday', which consisted of 10 scoops of vanilla ice-cream drenched in honey, sprinkled with 2 cups of powered sugar and 15 caramelized strawberries, Selphie was deeply engaged in a conversation with Sora.

"So then my parents refused to give me more sugar! They took away all the candy I had and told all the stores not to sell me any! So I asked my boyfriend to bring me some, but he betrayed me! He said I needed a break from sweets! Can you believe that?!" Selphie ranted.

"So what did you do?" Sora asked, wide-eyed.

She grinned like a cheshire cat, and then boasted triumphantly, "I killed them! Well only my parents. Tidy-Widy is just in a coma ♥ the islanders are afraid of me now, so not only can I have candy again, I can have it for free! They just send me boxes and baskets of all different sweets! Isn't it great?!"

'Oh Lordy,' Sora thought, horrified by the new information he'd just gained 'why did Leon ever let me drag him on this cruise. It's full of crazy people.'


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: **If I owned it, do you really think I'd be writing Kingdom Hearts **fan**fiction? HUH?! Hmph, that's what I thought.

**Warning**: This story contains shounen-ai/yaoi, drug addicts, alcoholics, stalkers and a bunch of other stuff… yup, it's just a lovely field of flowers ain't it?

**A/N: **So insane, it's almost normal? This chapter is mostly at the expense of Zexion and Ansem, with a bit of that of Sora and Demyx.

**tehlibbyness:** Yeah, I actually have a list of things Axel will do to prevent the whole Roxas/Cloud thing, I'm going to go through them one by one. XD  
**Midnight808:** Yup, killed her parents. Haha, like the Leon/Sora past I'll be writing, you'll be seeing exactly what Selphie little incident was like at well. Almost every character is going to have a chapter explaining their past.  
**RaiPhownix015: **Right? You'll see in the later chapters just what Sora and Leon went through and what lengths Roxas went to, to prevent them from doing anything. As for the Roxas/Cloud thing, I'm experimenting. If it doesn't end up flowing right, then well, Axel will be VERY happy.  
**purple crystal dagger: **Exactly. It's just a matter of time.  
**Lalala12345:** I wanted to make at least one character like psychotic-crazy, and Selphie just seemed fit the role so perfectly, then bam, we end up with a sugar-high murdering cutie!  
**Atavan.Halen:** I'm glad you like it so much.

Once again, the title and chapter titles have absolutely nothing to do with the story.

**Potato Chips and Pixie Sticks**

**Chapter 2: ****How many times do I have to tell you? Inanimate objects can't move on their own! Oh, and everyone with silver hair is a bastard.**

Demyx had been staring strait into the pool for an hour now, every 5 minutes or so he would scream, "dance! Water Dance!" in what he thought was a melodious tune (which also sounded to painful shrieks to others). Then afterwards he would turn around to whine to Zexion, pointing an accusing finger at the water. Ansem (apparently some kind of control-freak) was watching Demyx, amused, and of course, Zexion was watching Ansem watch Demyx… in irritation.

**3****rd**** Person Limited to Zexion**

Demyx was annoying him, and that silver haired freak (but Zexy you have silver(-blue) hair too!) watching him like a hawk. How dare he look at Demyx for so long! How DARE HE!? Wait… how dare he? Was… dare Zexion say it… jealous?! No! That couldn't be right! Zexion was strait. 100 strait. He even had a girlfriend, some bitch named Larxene. Aww, crap. He'd promised at something or another to stop calling her that, but then again, why should he? Zexion knew, for a fact that she was cheating on him with some pink-haired pansy named Marluxia. The only reason they were still together was because Zexion didn't really care… wait. WERE they together?

Now that he thought about it, Larxene and Marluxia would always get cozy in public a lot, the public being him…and it wasn't like they did anything couple like. All they really did when they were together was… god forgive… **talk… ABOUT BOYS… **(ok so all he really did was sit and nod occasionally, but he still sat through all of them!) SHIT! He WAS gay! Well, for all that's holy! If he had to be gay he sure as hell wasn't going to be gay with Demyx! He stormed out of the pool area mentally cursing, ignoring Demyx's hollered pleas for him to stay.

No! No! No! God be damned if Zexion was going to let Demyx invade his love life, like he had already done so with his sleep hours! In fact Zexion made it a goal to get heavily involved with the next male he saw. Unfortunately, considering it was nighttime, not many people were around. He only saw a few guests walking around and they were all females. Zexion stopped to think for a moment… where would there be some people around at night…, of course! The bar! He headed off in direction of the bar.

Surprisingly, the only occupants in the bar were some brunette girl, who was maniacally laughing about something, a black headed girl with a headband, who was shoving some sugar marinated contraption down her throat, and another small brunette… boy. Bingo. Zexion had his target.

Now… to work his magic, he needed to be along with the boy… he had it! He quickly went to the cafeteria and snuck into the kitchen. There, he pulled out the brown sugar, white sugar, confectionary sugar, and every other sweet thing he could find. Then, he compressed the disgustingly sweet mixture into two small balls and attached both of them to two fishing lines (where did he get them you ask? They were one of his many items used to inflict pain upon him, of course!) He headed back towards the bar, at the entrance he waves the two ungodly sweet lures around.

He watched as Selphie and Yuffie suddenly both went stiff, he could hear the boy's concerned voice, "Selphie…? Yuffie? Hey guys, what's wrong?"

**Sora's PoV**

I don't know what's happening! Yuffie and Selphie just froze all of sudden! I wave my hands in front of their faces, but no response.

Crash!

Ouch. I fall out of my seat as Selphie and Yuffie abruptly stand up (Selphie being the one who caused me to tilt back). This is really weird…WHAT THE FUCK?!

**Normal PoV**

Selphie's and Yuffie's heads slowly turn around (ONLY their heads), their eyes start to glow red, their faces become dark and drool leaks from their mouths.

Sora looked on in fright; he was too scared to even scream. This was at a traumatizing level! He slowly scurried backwards until his back hit the wall and gulped.

Zexion, at this point, was a little freaked out. Sure, he expected the girls to take the bait, but he didn't expect them to turn into sugar-thirsty…monsters. For the next couple of seconds, the only thing that moved was the drool coming out of the girls mouths. Then a split second later, Zexion made a run for it. The girls followed him, or more specifically the smell of concentrated sugar.

Sora was beyond confused, oh and don't forget scared. After the girls suddenly darted out of the room, he crawled behind the bar counter, curled into a ball and started whimpering. If Sora wasn't in such a state of shock, he would've noticed there was a figure, not even a foot away from him, doing the same, the bartender.

**3****rd**** Person Limited to Zexion**

Zexion ran. He ran like his life depended on in. And, well, it did. He felt like he was in one of those horror movies with crazy animals chasing him in the jungle like he was a piece of meat. And he was right to feel like that, because it described his current situation perfectly. Ideas were rapidly spewing through his mind, should he toss the balls over deck? No! That would change anything! It might even make it worse! The scent was already on him, if the predators found him without the items, they might tear him apart! Or they might already be so beyond sense that they might even mistake him for the food and eat him! Oh, hell no! Sure, he was kind of suicidal, but that was NOT the way he wanted to die. There was no way he was going to let two crazy girls EAT him!

Zexion skid around the next corridor, surprisingly he'd somehow ended up back at the pool, Demyx and Ansem weren't there anymore. Bah, the blond idiot had probably gone to find him and that other freak most likely followed the retard.

"Zexy?" Zexion turned his head in the direction of the voice. Turns out, Demyx and Ansem were actually still there, just in the little kiddy pool on the side. It seemed Demyx was worried about Zexion, because he was sweating profusely (and Zexion never sweats). He spared a second long glance to Ansem who just had an eyebrow raised.

He heard the girls' or at this point animals' cries of war… oh no. They were getting closer. Time was running out. 'Think, Zexion, think! You don't want your life to end like this, do you?! HELL NO!'

After a few more seconds, Zexion had it! He ran towards the two men/boys, whatever, and he quickly grabbed of one of Demyx's hands, "Z-Zexy?!" and shoved the sugar monstrosities into Ansem's chest, "what the hell is this, boy?!" He could hear the foot steps getting closer, so he pulled Demyx with him, "Zexy?!" and jumped into the deep end pool, "What th- gurglegurgle"

**3****rd**** Person Limited to Ansem**

Before Ansem could say another word, he was interrupted with startling battle cries of, "SUGAR! WE EAT! SUUUUUUGGGGGGARRRRRRRRRRR!!!" He sweat dropped. He wasn't sure why, but he felt his body go cold and was very afraid. Everything went quiet… then a foot appeared at the pool entrance. Ansem nearly fainted at the site, … two… girls? With glowing red eyes, shadows glooming over their faces and rivers of drool flowing from their mouths. They didn't seem to be looking for him so he sighed relief, then their heads turned to stare strait at him… their mouths curved into smiles.

Why would they be going after him, he cursed. Then he smelt the sickly sweet scent radiating from his chest… shit, they were balls of sugar?! He glared at the pool, THAT SILVER HAIRED BASTARD! (Well, he was silver haired too, but he didn't have that annoying 'I think I'm so cool' blue tint!) Wait! This wasn't the time to be cursing some emo! He had to find out some way to get of this alive… ugh rain. Wait… rain? Wasn't he in a indoor pool? A sudden chill ran out through his whole body. He slowly looked up…into the distorted faces of the two now unrecognizable girls… it was too late.

**Normal PoV**

That night, everyone awake stopped what they were doing and everyone sleeping woke up to an ear-shattering scream of horror and pain.

* * *

**A/N:** Soo? Like it? Remember guys, this story runs on reviews. And the more reviews it gets the faster the next chapter comes out and the longer the story's life span will be. Also, I've decided to give out custom made, Steel-Heart signature icon printed cookies to my reviewers! (Their printed with delicious glazes, strawberry, green tea, chocolate, etc) P Gives everyone to reviewed last chapter delicious cookies 

**Note: **To those of you reading this story who are also following, **_Trapped in Old Memories_**, I'm giving a heads up that the next chapter will be updated soon. Probably within the next two days or so, and at latest, three.


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